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Strange Future
5/30/95
In the future....
  • Tourism will be an organized religion-- It will supplant Protestantism as the dominant sect in America.

  • Russia, Ukraine, and the Baltics will get together to form the Soviet Reunion-- They'll release a commemorative album, "Siberia Freezes Over."

  • Dogs will talk-- Their constant cries of "Throw the ball! Throw the ball!" make them a lot less appealing as pets.

  • Oil will be discovered on the moon-- The event mysteriously coincides with the sale of NASA to Texaco.

  • The Law of the Jungle will be rewritten-- "Survival of the Fittest" will be changed to "Survival of the Most Knowledgeable of Show Tunes".

  • Money will have an expiration date-- Amazingly, the economy will improve.

  • Campbell's introduces Algebra Soup-- Its popularity spawns a plethora of imitators, including Calculus Consomme and Chaos Chowder.

  • Someone will put a Lo-jack on Waldo-- It brings a welcome end to the irritating search for his whereabouts.

  • Dust mites will grow to the size of cows-- If you don't believe me, check out my living room.
And, as always...
  • The present will be the past-- And, of course, the future will be the present. There will be no future.
Visit the 5/23/95 Future
Felice

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