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Strange Future
6/29/95
In the future....
  • Millions will try the Keith Richards Diet-- It promises health and longevity through massive alcohol, drug, and nicotine abuse.

  • Cereals will be fortified with moral fiber-- They'll stay righteous even in milk.

  • Sociologists will prove that beggars CAN be choosers-- They cite USENET binary groups as proof.

  • The definition of "FREE" wll be legally changed-- Its new meaning will be "billed to your credit card in amounts so small that you won't notice we're sucking you dry."

  • Churches will offer drive-thru confession-- They'll ask "Would you like absolution with that?"

  • Disney Dollars will be the global currency-- As if it isn't already.

  • Cable companies will carry the Mahabharata Channel-- Its tremendous popularity is attributed to the fact that several days pass between commercials.

  • Jane will stop that crazy thing-- AND that cat will stay out for the night.
And, as always...
  • The present will be the past-- And, of course, the future will be the present. There will be no future.
Visit the 6/6/95 Future
Felice

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