In the future....
And, as always...
The speed of light will be reduced to 55mph-- Sure it'll wreak
havoc with the Laws of Physics, but it'll save lives.
Great art will come in aerosol cans-- One spray and the user's
walls can be covered by a DaVinci, Van Gogh, or Matisse. Those who
don't first clean the nozzles end up with Jackson Pollocks.
Magnetic media will replace all paper-- Going to the bathroom will be particularly difficult, giving a new meaning to the phrase
"wiping a disk."
Drugs will have more specific side-effects-- Rather than causing mere drowsiness, cold tablets will cause users to don kilts and race down the street on mopeds, yelling, "All men die, but not every man really lives!"
Stock-market volatility will allow the Amish to buyout Intel--
Their new orchestra-hall-sized, windmill-powered, mechanical
"microprocessor" will be more accurate than Pentium.
Restaurants will be themed like airplane interiors-- Patrons
will pay premium prices to crush into tiny seats and choose from
two microwaved entrees. Every two hours or so, the entire
restaurant will shake in simulated turbulence.
Kevin Costner will market his own cologne, "Flopsweat"-- The slogan: "The scent worn by Wyatt Earp!"
What went up will come down-- The spinnin' wheel will spin
Visit the 7/7/95 Future
- The present will be the past-- And, of
course, the future will be the present. There will be no