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Strange Future
8/1/95
In the future....
  • Money will be printed on potato chips-- Attacks of the munchies will devour a week's pay.

  • Truth-in-advertising laws will be enforced on movie ads-- Numerous claims of "the scariest Sci-Fi thriller ever" will be changed to "better than 'Freejack."

  • Psychologists will identify first case of "Lenophobia"-- The rare condition is characterized by an irrational fear of being poked in the eye by an anvil-shaped chin.

  • Strapped for cash, the Military will open secret installations as Theme Parks-- Visitors to the infamous Hanger 18 who finally see the recovered UFO will react "Star Tours was better."

  • Boredom will be a valid criminal defense-- In our increasingly over-stimulated world, many will escape punishment by pleading "Nothing else to do, your Honor."

  • Life will have screen-savers-- Anytime a person is idle for a minute, his vision will fill with meaningless imagery. Kind of like watching TV.

  • Film historians will discover that prior to his fame in "Steamboat Willie" Mickey Mouse starred in porno flick "Reamboat Willie-- Rather than playing "Turkey in the Straw" on the barnyard animals, Mickey plays "Choke the Chicken" with them.

  • Tomorrow will be another day-- Another day, another potato chip.
And, as always...
  • The present will be the past-- And, of course, the future will be the present. There will be no future.
Visit the 7/25/95 Future
Felice

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