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Strange Future
In the future....
  • Desperate for ratings, TV Stations will pay viewers to watch-- Those brave enough to tune-in to 'Small Wonder' will earn six figures.

  • Hamburgers will grow on trees-- McDonald's will grow theirs under sun lamps

  • 'Talkies' will turn out to be a fad after all-- Spelling the end of those irritating THX trailers, it will also signal the rise of Rosie Perez as Hollywood's Leadingest Lady.

  • Disney will buy Apple-- It's funny because it's true.

  • Kurt Cobain will emerge from hiding to admit he faked his own death-- His sole comment on surviving the last two years stuffed in the crawlspace of a Dairy Queen is, "Beats living with Courtney."

  • Raul will be imprisoned for indecency over the 'Net-- His ass will be saved when millions of adoring fans storm Washington and threaten the Country with revolution. ...Please????

  • The World will come to an End-- Dick Clark will still be around to host the live "Four Horsemen's Rockin' Apocalypse!!"
And, as always...
  • The present will be the past-- And, of course, the future will be the present. There will be no future.
Visit the 8/1/95 Future

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