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Strange Future
4/3/95
In the future....
  • Chocolate coins will be legal tender-- Wall Street will panic when the Treasury switches to the carob standard.

  • Scientists will develop a "Youth Pill" which makes people young again-- The FDA will ban the item after overdoses cause several users to revert to ova and puddles of sperm.

  • Rap songs will be required by law to include the lyrics "Wave your hands in the air, like you just don't care"-- Rock songs must include "All night, alright!".

  • Congressional Term Limits will finally become a reality-- The period of service will be so short that anyone elected will be rendered ineligible to serve.

  • Nacho Cheese will replace salt-- Bean dip will replace pepper.

  • Archaeologists will discover how the Egyptians built the pyramids-- They subcontracted.

  • The Cure for Cancer will be available in easy-to-swallow caplets-- Thrillseekers will postpone taking the pills as long as possible to see who can grow the biggest tumor.

  • Cindy Crawford will be President-- A bra-stuffing scandal will cause her to step down, leaving running-mate Naomi Campbell with her finger on the nuclear button.

  • A UFO will land on the White House lawn-- Causing Naomi to push the nuclear button.
And, as always...
  • The present will be the past-- And, of course, the future will be the present. There will be no future.
Visit the 3/27/95 Future
Felice

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