Home More Gals Store Strangeness Clubhouse
Strange Future TicTacToe Other Art Johnston Links
Strange Future
In the future....
  • Coors will patent "workohol"-- The intoxicant allows workaholics to enjoy that high-achiever buzz without the inconvenience of doing something productive.

  • Phone Sex will cause "Phone Pregnancy"-- Nine months later, patrons automatically receive midnight calls from cholicky babies.

  • Cars will run on LOVE-- Most people will get lousy mileage.

  • Computers will come with a "Self Help" button-- Pushing it doesn't actually solve users' problems, it just makes them feel okay about having them.

  • Soup & Salad Bars will evolve into Complete Dinner Bars-- Patrons will pay $20 a pop to go into the restaurants' kitchens and cook for themselves.

  • Scientists will invent a tonic which can grow hair on a billiard ball-- Unfortunately, it will be completely ineffectual on humans.

  • The "waif look" will give way to the "wave look"-- So named because the slightest movement of these corpulent models causes their bodies to be overrun by flesh tsunamis.

  • Coho Cola will take the country by storm-- Millions will guzzle the beverage before they realize the salmon-colored soft-drink is actually made from salmon.

  • The Universe will shrink to the size of a pinhead-- Pinheads will fill the Universe.
And, as always...
  • The present will be the past-- And, of course, the future will be the present. There will be no future.
Visit the 5/16/95 Future

© 1995, 2003 BrainWave ThoughtProducts, Inc.   Comments, questions to rsf@thoughtprod.com